“I was dying to hear someone say that I didn’t need to try so hard to be perfect, that I was enough”

i remember thinking to myself “you are not good enough untill a boy tells you otherwise”. its pretty silly but I wanted someone to see me flawed and beaten down and tell me I was beautiful and everyone does. We all want that one person who is going to be the one to pick us up when we are down. We want the person who is going to hold our hand and help us back on our feet. For me I used to look in the mirror and see nothing I liked and when I saw a boy i felt so disgusted. I felt like I was so flawed that nobody would love my battered and beatened down heart. I have never been so happy that I am wrong. I dont need someone to tell me that I dont need to try so hard, that I am enough because I am telling myself that. I am enough. I am beautiful and strong and fierce and smart and full of ideas and love and joy and compassion. I am enough the way I am and I do not need to rely on someone else to tell me that I am enough. I will no longer rely on others for my self worth but on me because true SELF worth is determined by YOUR SELF. not anybody else. I am perfect the way I am. The way my nose crinkles or the way I roll my eyes or the way i snort when I laugh too hard is perfect. The freckles I have splashed across my face and the pimples that seem to appear everywhere are perfect. I am perfect. My scars and bruises and the light patch on my knee from when I fell on the treadmill makes me perfect. I AM PERFECT THE WAY I AM AND I WILL STAND IN THE MIRROR TELLING MYSELF THIS UNTILL I BELIEVE IT. why? because I am going to determine my self worth and i am going to have confidence. I was dying to hear you tell me I was perfect and that I didnt need to try so hard but that isnt going to happen. I am in control of my life and my self worth, not anyone else. 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s