sometimes I really miss him and the way he used to make me feel
sometimes I really miss him and the things he would say to me
sometimes I really miss him and the way he made me feel sexy
but then i remember how much he used me.
how he only calls me when he wants something
how he only acknowledges my existence when it’s midnight and he’s horny
and i know i deserve better.
sometimes i do miss him and the time we spent together
but i dont miss being treated poorly.
im glad i realized how i deserve to be treated
he doesnt deserve me but sometimes i miss him
and thats okay. im allowed to miss people
but im not allowed to let him back into my heart or life
because he doesnt deserve me
and i dont deserve to be treated poorly
its the battle between what i want and what i deserve
and what i deserve always wins.