sometimes i really miss him

sometimes I really miss him and the way he used to make me feel

sometimes I really miss him and the things he would say to me

sometimes I really miss him and the way he made me feel sexy 

but then i remember how much he used me.

how he only calls me when he wants something

how he only acknowledges my existence when it’s midnight and he’s horny

and i know i deserve better.

sometimes i do miss him and the time we spent together

but i dont miss being treated poorly.

im glad i realized how i deserve to be treated

he doesnt deserve me but sometimes i miss him

and thats okay. im allowed to miss people

but im not allowed to let him back into my heart or life

because he doesnt deserve me

and i dont deserve to be treated poorly

its the battle between what i want and what i deserve

and what i deserve always wins. 

 

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