Well I really just miss being friends with remy

He was such a good friend. One day he saw me walking home and gave me a ride home and then I was upset and he just let me talk it all out and then he rubbed my back like my mom used to when she cared and told me its all gonna be okay hon. He taught me how to stand up to myself and was the one of the first guys to tell me that I deserve better. I remember he would just be there for me. We went to chipotle and he would drive with me and we would just talk. He was one of the only people that didnt baby me when he found out I had manic depression. He would still joke around with me and tease me. He was smart and funny and clever and overall such an amazing friend. I really do miss being friends with him. I mean he even cared when I told him about my giant fight with renn and how i cut him out of my life forever. I would take back kissing him in a heartbeat if it meant we could be friends again. I never meant to get attached. I just was looking for a guy and he was there. I was so dumb and foolish and I was sick. I didnt mean to ruin everything with remy. I really would take it back. and i feel so bad. I kissed him while he was with pam. I stooped so low. I was a homewrecker. I was a bitch, Im so sorry remy. im so sorry. talking with you today just felt really good because it was like we were friends again. god please just let me have another chance to be friends with him again. please god please. he is such a great friend. we talked and joked around today and it felt so good. it felt like we were friends again and i miss that. i hate having a little taste because now i crave his friendship. i wish i was lucky enough to have another chance. i know why i cant. i kissed him while he had a girlfriend. it doesnt matter if i was sick or not. i did something unforgivable. i know why we cant be friends. i wouldnt trust me either if i was remy or pam. i never meant for this to end up like this. god i just feel so embarassed everytime i see him. it reminds me of my mistake. im so sorry remy… please know from the bottom of my heart that im sorry. im so fucking sorry i would take it back if i could. im so embarassed. i wish i never messed up so badly. i miss our friendship and joking around with you so much. im so sorry. im so so so soso sososososososososososososo sorry. please god let me have another chance to be friends with him.

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