i want to help

but i just don’t know how. you’re like the moon. beautiful and bright but theres 75% of you hidden thats dark. you have these walls built so high and thick and I’m really trying to get through them but i feel like everytime i make progress you just rebuild it and I’m trying and i love you and i really hope you know how much you mean to me and how much i really love you and want to be there for you. i want to help but I’m not good at this. I’m the girl who goes on the internet and gets facts and brings papers full of highlighted things to help you try to explain why this is happening. kearin is just so much better at this than me. I’m really sorry I’m really trying to help but i feel like I’m doing and saying the wrong things and that you’re going to push me away even more and i want to be there for you and i know why you’re pushing me away and I’m going to keep trying. i just don’t want to make you worse. thats my biggest fear is that when I’m trying to help i actually make you worse. i want to help you. i want to take all this away from you. if i could take this away from you i would. i would take it on if it meant you were happy. i love you so frekaing much and i can’t express how much i love you. i would take a bullet for you. iw ould do anything to make you happy. i just can’t get to know you because whenever i break down part of your wall you rebuild it like a hydra. if you don’t know what a hydra is its a 7 headed monster but when you cut off one of their heads two grow back in its place. but i just will keep trying. i want to help and I’m here for you. you’re not alone and I’m fighting to help you i really am. i just don’t want to make you worse or say the wrong thing to you. I’m really trying and i really really really really want to help you. I’m so sorry you’re going through this and I’m even more sorry i didn’t realize you were drowing but I’m here for you. for anything. for everything. for every step of the way okay? i love you so damn much and i can’t even put it into words. I’m going to fight and battle this with you. you’re going to be happy again. you’re going to be okay and it really sucks right now but it won’t. one day you will be happy again and I’m so sorry, I’m trying to help. and I’m here for anything. i love you. whatever you need ill help you get it. I’m here to help. i want to help you. please let me help you. you deserve to  be happy

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