i can’t do this to myself. i can’t get my hopes up. i can’t get feelings for anyone. i can’t do anything because I’m so fragile. I’m so breakable and I’m scared I’m close to the point of just ending up in a pile on the floor full of tears and anger and just crying. i don’t want to be this weak but i put so much off and its all coming back in waves and i should deal with it before the tsunami of terrible memories and things I’ve been putting off comes. i really wanted to fall for you but i can’t do that to you or me. I’m sorry. i just i feel like a failure. I’m a failure at a girl. I’m not skinny or pretty or dainty or petite or wanted. i dress like a guy, never wear makeup, fat, ugly, eat too much and am unwanted by the male population. I’m just really tired of failing at everything. i failed at being there for my friends. i failed at getting a guy. i failed at being happy. i failed at school. i failed at getting skinny. i failed at my health. i failed at everything and i dont want to fail anymore. i just want to be happy. why can’t i be happy

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