time does not heal

’ve been told all my life that “time heals all wounds”

but that is not true.

the wound of losing you is still there

no matter how many minutes, hours, days, months, or years passes by.

the open bleeding wound stops bleeding after a while

then it closes over and turns into a scar.

but this scar is with me forever.

the wound is still there just closed over, forgotten about,

losing you has become less important over time.

but the pain of hearing the words, “I don’t love you anymore”

will always be with me,

it does not matter if I am a minute older or 70 years older

I will always feel the pain from hearing those words spill off your tongue.

I remember how rehearsed they sounded, like you had practiced them,

you made it seem like no big deal that you had my heart but i did not have yours,

and unfortunately that pain has not gone away

it has been a long time since I heard those words pour out of your mouth

the same mouth that kissed me with so much passion that it gave me life,

the same mouth that made me feel a love so warm that I thought my body would combust from the inside out

the same mouth that told me things sweeter than pure sugar

the same mouth that told me you would always be here for me

the same mouth i now despise, for love was not on your lips but poison

you built me up only to tear me down

you gained the light in my eyes

the love in my heart

and the innocence i had before you came

Time has not made this hurt any less

for i am constantly reminded of how you never truly loved me

and because of you I know that time heals nothing.

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In the life of a teenage feminist.

Here’s a little look into my daily life. Each day I go to college classes and focus on class, nothing happens, just learn about history and how women were property. I think about how far we’ve come and it’s not that far. yes we can choose our own husbands, we have the right to vote, but are women really and truly free? no. they are not sadly. We are still look down upon as property. Women have been upgraded in the way they are treated, instead of being treated like the Ebola diease we are treated like an entitlement. I go to school and I am constantly harassed by teenage boys in every single one of my classes. Do the teachers say a word about it? no. they don’t. they only say a word about anything when I respond back. This is an ongoing problem. Do i deserve to be told to quiet down when I am only standing up for myself? Is it okay for the teacher to sit back and be silent when my nickname is “big lexie” or “babe” or “sweet cheeks” (referring not to the cheeks on my face). Is it fair that when I try to stand up for myself I am told to either be quiet or go in the hall. No it’s not. But it repeats itself. All over the world women are silenced for standing up for themselves. We are constantly told no, be quiet, go back in the kitchen, or to not over react. Just once I would like to see a teacher not only say something to the harassing men for the future women in their lives but I would like to see a teacher support feminism. Feminsim is banished from schools. It is absurd to think about a shoulder showing in school. but yet it is okay for a teenage boy to pass around naked pictures of a girl and not get punished. God forbid I show below my collar bone but it is okay to constantly be reminded of the mistakes I have made with previous guys. I can’t focus on school because someone spread around that I was going to have a date saturday. I choose to put up with it and keep going forward but it beats me down daily. I am exhausted but my blood boils far too often not to say something. I am a teenage feminist constantly silenced and harassed and it is tiring but there is nothing I want to see more than a change in the way women are treated. Women should be respected. You think teenage boys with mothers, sister, grandmothers, wouldn’t look at women as an entitlement or a punching bag but sadly they do. It’s pathetic and there needs to be a change but I am silenced far too often to do anything about it. I am a teenage feminist and I feel like my voice has been taken from me.

used-

all I feel is used 

your actions left me feeling abused. 

“shhh don’t tell anyone. nobody can ever know” 

I nodded because I cared for you so

“we can’t hangout in public or else people might think we are friends or more” 

I have to admit that one left my heart feeling sore 

your words cut into me like broken glass 

I should’ve seen then how you were just a giant ass 

horny and bored you used me 

I was broken didn’t you see

trying to find a feeling of love but mistaking it for lust 

but I was blind and it happened to be a bust 

feeling worse than before 

I gave you want you wanted but you kept asking for more 

I felt like you were using me but you reassured me you weren’t 

but you were and now I’m full of hurt 

your hands full of the worst intentions 

“oh and I got back together with my girlfriend! we were on a break I guess I forgot to mention” 

my gut dropped to the floor

I gave you what you wanted and more

my eyes filling up with tears that I couldn’t not hold 

I tried to be happy for you but this feeling was getting old

you used me I spat

I thought you were okay with that you said as I sat 

who would ever be okay with that 

well I thought you would be fine with that

I was starting to like you… you were different. you were nice… 

but you took my heart and did nothing but slice 

my emotions flooding everywhere 

this isn’t fair

I gave you what you wanted 

the idea of being left kept me haunted 

I fell to the floor in a heap 

my confidence started to seep

all I could mutter was I feel used

I was only something to keep you amused

and now I’m full of knowing I was used 

I’m now used 

used 

used 

used

used 

used 

I’m haunted by te fact that once again I was used